I stared off into the void of my thoughts seeing through everything and seeing nothing.
Imagining every possibility that could happen, thinking about everything that has happened, wondering what the next step is and being consumed by worry.
What brought me back to the now was a small hand touching my face and pulling me towards her in a hug.
My darling daughter Poet.
I leaned in and smelled her hair- and took in the moment of this.
I forgot that what I let inside my mind and heart is a filter to what I see before me.
And what I had let in was worry and sadness, and anxiety about what I need to do and what hasn’t been done and it put a fog over everything.
I couldn’t enjoy just holding my child because even though I was holding her I wasn’t present. And I think, I know, she felt that.
So this is just a reminder for myself that no matter how hopeless I feel inside that it is a choice to see life through those feelings.
And to just pull out of it and see the beauty and energy in life around me right now.
Its so easy to just say “take one step at a time”….
Its hard to do that.
But even now I feel that powerful energy of hope and encouragement when I just think of what is right before me to do.
Life might not always go how I planned or thought was already set before me.
But one thing is set.
I am a mom, theres dishes to be washed (don’t laugh at me i know you are) theres little ones who want to play hide and seek and be taught board games, theres toys to be picked up and laundry to be fold.
All those simple things that seem hilarious to mention gives me hope.
Because they are things that I can do something about right now. Something I can see get done and see the results.
In Smiles and hugs and a clean house.
So whatever is discouraging you- whatever feels so big and out of control and making you see life through a sad filter- just look at what is in front of you. What can you do right now that can make a difference.
Maybe it is just making a meal, putting on makeup, going for a run. Whatever it is for you. Do it.